Ruby Tuesday: Happy Birthday To Me!

Quick Birthday Report and then it's "all Ruby; all the time."

It's a good thing my day on Sunday was wonderful because Monday wasn't that great a birthday. The kids woke up in foul moods (okay, okay, they are both sick but still . . . ). Gage has an ear infection and was one miserable kid. Ruth just didn't want to go to school and I was gonna pay for it. Sigh. My scale was not kind to me (subject for another post). No one wished my happy birthday until I was already wracked with Mommy-Guilt about Gage's ear and how much trouble it was going to be for him to stay home go to the doctor. Sigh. But things got better once I was at work. They know how to party at a school. Half-the-staff (only a slight exaggeration) are Pisces and so we had a lot of birthdays smashed together to celebrate but they picked Monday to celebrate so I got to feel a little extra special. Singing. Cake. Lots of well-wishing. Being told I was too young to complain about my age. That's all it takes! :) Even my 4th grade math class sang to me -- so sweet! Met Greg and Gage at the doctor's office. We're treating the ear with OTC but I have a prescription if I need it. Greg had to go run his errands after school so off he went. He suggested chinese food so I didn't have to cook which was FINE with me. We had a nice chinese dinner in front of TV. And then I got Greg packed for his trip (he leaves today for Boston) and then I got very indulgent and played computer games (we're setting up an older Mac for the kids with a bunch of fun, older games that they are finally old enough to play). At around midnight, Gage came in with a sore ear again -- bad enough to wake him up. Meds, meds, meds and a round of sitting on Mom's lap before he could get to sleep again. I'm going to fill the prescription today. Poor kidlet.

Now, on to Ruby.

Ruthie took this photo -- cute, huh?

Ruby is such a delight. Here's what I like about her and her breed.

• She's mellow around the house. Her favorite thing to do is curl up in a ball on your lap. Woe be unto those who disturb her princess-ness, baleful glances will come your way.
• She's playful. She's feeling comfy at our house now and with the kids and she is playful and silly. She LOVES balls. We got her a teeny-tiny tennis ball and she loves to chase it around the house. Ruth played with her for a good 1/2 hour last night and they both had a blast.
  
• She's naughty! She can. not. stop. getting. tissues. out. of. the. trash. But when caught, she immediately rolls over submissively and shows her belly, all but whimpering how wrong she is -- but five minutes later, back in the trash again. Naughty thing!
  
• She's finally chillin' about the kids. Kids scared her but she's gotten used to mine now. Hey, they scare me sometimes too! :) She'll still chose Greg or me to sit with first but if we tell her no thanks, she'll go jump up with Ruthie as a distant third -- two weeks ago, that would have been impossible.
  
• She's hell on squirrels. I have four of the fattest, sassiest squirrels you've ever seen. They plant themselves on my feeders and chow down. They eat SO much and then cart even more off and bury it. They keep the birds away. They'll rip feeders down and destroy them. Rotten little hoodlums. But no more. Ruby is on the job. It's amazing. She watches for them. She's absolutely silent on the hunt. Thankfully, they always have a 5 or more foot head start on her because she gets so close to catching them. She is absolutely serious about these squirrels. Instincts are amazing and powerful.
  
• Oh, yea, and she's really cute and she loves to give kisses!
  

Goodbye Ruby Tuesday!

An exhausting day

I love my job. I am a teacher. I work part-time at the same school my children go to as the Math Coordinator. That is a fancy way of saying that I do math tutoring for students who are struggling in math. My job is complicated and satisfying. I don't get paid enough but I still love my job. Because I make no effort whatever to hide my identity, I can't talk about my job a lot. Talking about my job would truly be telling tales out of school in a most unprofessional way.

I came to teaching elementary school students later in life. I just finished my teaching credential in December. I am still a novice teacher. Becoming a teacher when I was already experienced at work and teaching (adults) as well as already being a mother to my own children has given me an interesting perspective, I think. And, I have learned a LOT from this process.

My respect for teachers has grown exponentially since I've been doing the job. Today was the day at my school that we hold meetings about students who are struggling. The parents come in and meet with a team from the school including our Resource Specialist, Literacy Specialist, a lower grade teacher, an upper grade teacher, the District's psychologist, the student's classroom teacher and any other professionals who may be valuable to the process. And, that's where I come into the meetings. When the classroom teacher requests it, I make myself available to attend the meeting for the students I work with. The process is a very healthy and respectful one but it is still painful. We definitely keep tissue on hand for the parents. Their anxiety is palpable during these meetings. It is never easy being told that something is wrong with your child or simply that something isn't working for your child. So, the parents are always very stressed about this process. As a professional who works with these children, we care about them deeply. This is a small school and we watch kids grow and change from year to year and we care about them.

Our hope is that these meetings result in positive changes for the children. I've been to a few of these meetings and I've been very pleased with the results. But, it's a hard, exhausting day. I came home today and put on comfy clothes and watched mindless tv for awhile. My brain needed a break!

On a birdy note, the ravens are so present at school right now. Spring is in the air and they are loving on each other. A 2nd grader was telling me that she noticed how a raven was kissing his wife raven! I loved it. We also saw a raven on the roof of one of the classrooms doing a public service for the school. The kids regularly kick balls on the roofs and this raven took a small football and dropped it off the roof. The kids were amazed!

Don't you love this silly raven? He's skipping out to play at recess!

It's raining, it's pouring . . .

Fluffed up Hermit Thrush
Originally uploaded by egret's nest.

Well, I don't suppose Greg would appreciate it if I finished that sentence!

It's rained all day yesterday and looks to rain right through the weekend and into next week. Finally some regular winter weather here. I went back and visited the site of my botched (and yet successful) efforts to snap the Hermit Thrush and got a nice shot of him (her?) from my car without laying on the horn. I love how fluffed up he looks -- compare it to the other shot below. Cute!

There are several local internet weather stations in Boulder Creek. I look at all of them but Boulder Creek is such an area of microclimates that the rainfall at one could be totally different from what we experience here at our house. This one usually feels about right though . . . {click}. That chart shows the current rain conditions. It's just been the steady, soaking rain that we usually get and like so much around here. It's good for everything and not dangerous to the hills and people. When it rains too much, too fast, we are at serious risk of mudslides. My senior year in high school we had a storm like that and it was devastating. We were very careful when we bought our house -- there are no hills above us that could become unstable and slide -- and we're not on one either, thank goodness. Giant trees, steep hillsides, and huge quantities of rain are not a good combination.

This rain though is so appreciated. Which isn't to say that we aren't all griping about it. Everything is just a big more difficult when it is raining constantly . . . my job requires that I walk around campus a lot gathering groups of kids and bringing them to my room for a half-hour lesson and then taking them back again. So, I make the decision to take a coat or umbrella about 47 times a morning. Usually I just risk it. Unless it's POURING which it can do here. A real Boulder Creek rain is when you have your wipers on high and you still can't see because it's raining so hard. Sometimes I can't see across my backyard because of the density of the rain coming down. We haven't had a storm like that this winter. Yet? Hard to say, it's been a weird year and those storms usually come in January when we had virtually no rain at all.

Okay, enough on the rain. Today is the last day of the week. All your weekend plans sound great! Tonight, I pack up our clothes, some food, and finish giving the motorhome a quick clean while Greg takes the kids to soccer. Tomorrow, bright and early, we'll head off on our adventurous camping trip! Still no confirmation from the two breeders I wanted to visit about seeing their dogs. Weird but what are you going to do. Maybe the fates are intervening to tell me that Ruby is the right dog for us.

Have a great weekend, folks!


ps. don't miss the videos below.

Proud Mom . . . Proud Birder

Gage - photoshopped for fun
Originally uploaded by egret's nest.

Our school does awards each month for students who are showing specific lifeskills. Every student in the school gets an award every year. It fills in with our other awards programs which include academics, physical activity, and PAW awards which are awarded when an adult catches you doing something good. I really like this program -- every child deserves a shot at feeling special and since becoming a teacher, I'm quite aware that there are plenty of kids who never are made to feel special in any other way. Parents are invited to attend the ceremony and that helps make kids feel special too.

Aaaaaaanyway, today was Gage's turn. He was given an award for demonstrating the Life Skill of Responsibility. And, I must say, he is a pretty responsible kid. He was so proud and excited. The principal called him up, the secretary shook his hand and gave him the award (a little zipper pull that says BCE Lifeskill), and he got to go up on stage with the other recipients for the month. They get applause at the end.
He was riding high on it all afternoon. It was sweet to see! Ruthie made me so proud too -- she was so attentive, watching him up there, waving at him, clearly proud of her brother. Greg even made it out to visit. Very, very cool small-town-family-school moment.

I also am pleased as punch to share that one of my blog posts is in I and the Bird #40. Please visit the site and check out the tasty offerings that Peregrine served up this month.

My New Camera

my_new_camera
Originally uploaded by egret's nest.

In honor of my finishing my credential program (and for Christmas, birthday next year, Mother's Day, Valentine's Day, Groundhog's Day, St. Patrick's Day, etc..), my wonderful, loving, fantastic, stupendous husband has just ordered me this spectacular camera.

If you are interested, you can read all about it here! It gets rave reviews and the photos I've seen from it online are wonderful! Sure, it's not as nice as the Fz20 or the Fz30 but it also costs a WHOLE let less! I'm happy!

Here is why I want this camera . . . .

• 12x optical zoom -- I can get up close and personal with birds and kids and whatever.
• Image stablization -- no more blurry pics when zoomed in
• 2.5" screen with a bright mode -- being able to see the images, menus, etc. better.

Counting the seconds until it arrives (Friday!) . . .

I'm done!

I just turned in my last assignment for my teaching credential program. I'm done.

It has not sunk in yet -- despite the nice dinner that Greg and the kids took me out to tonight.

But, I do know that tomorrow morning when I wake up feeling like I ought to get up and get started on my schoolwork, I can roll over and sleep for another half-hour and that's a good thing!

Hot damn!

Cleanup Crew

Cleanup Crew
Originally uploaded by egret's nest.

One of my favorite things about the school that I work at and my children go to are the birds. We have a flock of ravens (poetically known as an unkindness of ravens) who live at the school. There are 8-12 around the school at all times. Ravens are gorgeous birds -- big, black, shiny, and very smart. They make the most amazing range of noises.

They are normally pretty solitary and aloof from people but these are used to us. Still, if you get too close, they leave the area. In the picture above, I took two more steps and they left the area en masse.

Yesterday, I watched one of the ravens walk past my classroom door. He (She?) turned and went up the stairs. He hopped up the stairs all the way to the 2nd floor. Funniest thing I've seen in a long time -- and no camera available.

I love seeing and hearing the ravens everyday. We live 3 miles away from the school and rarely saw ravens around here. Thankfully, this spring, a pair moved into the area. I hear them almost every afternoon and see them often. They are not used to people and remain wild but we've seen some dramatic flights over our house.

I got the closest I've gotten to a raven with my camera today and got this shot here . . .

Halloween 2006

Halloween 2006
Originally uploaded by egret's nest.

Here we are on our way to school.

Ruthie is a black cat with a fluffy tail and fluffy ears. Her costume was utterly adorable and she loved being a cat.
I am a pink construction worker -- don't ask me to do anything, it might mess up my manicure! Most of the teachers were construction workers -- in honor of the new building and on-going construction at the school.
Gage is a Ninja! And, he loved it.

Crazy Day! The school does a school-wide parade in the morning. There are parties in classrooms throughout the day. Teachers dressed up. Parents all over the place. Sugar-hyped kids running rampant! Wheeeee!

Then at 5pm, we all descend on downtown and go Trick Or Treating with the merchants in town. Because we live in a hilly, windy-road, no street lights kind of area, it's the only trick or treating some kids get to do. It's totally fun. Everyone does the main street counter-clockwise. It's a blast. We ordered a pizza when we got to town and then picked it up when we were done. We actually live in a neighborhood where kids can trick or treat and so we get some. Maybe 20 groups of kids tonight. It's fairly low-key.

I'm a totally strict mom about the sugar. They get 3 pieces of candy after dinner and then one piece a day until they have forgotten about it which usually takes about two weeks. Then we toss what's left! It works for us. They don't feel deprived but they DO get to sleep and can enjoy the next day.



During the parade at school, I looked up and saw around 16 ravens circling high overhead. I got this shot before being distracted by the chaos of the parade. They were so beautiful wheeling overhead and I felt sure I was the only person who noticed or appreciated them. Most people at the school think they are pests. I feel blessed by their closeness. They are noisy, big scavengers who retain an amazing dignity. I love them. We have a pair that has moved into our neighborhood and I'm THRILLED!

PS. Raptor Lovers (and you KNOW who you are) go check out this post from Jane (Expiration Dates). [click] She lives in Washinton state on a river in a house she built with her husband. And, they get to see things like that from their living room windows ALL THE TIME. Amazing!

One of those days

[warning -- ranting vent enclosed -- read at your own risk!]

Yesterday was just a gawdawful day. It got better and all is well, I think but it was gawdaful getting there.

Here is the list of the factors in play:

• Greg is out of town
• I am sick and while I thought I was getting better, I took a turn for the worse yesterday and had to go to the doctor.
• I got my period -- of course I did!
  
• I have a huge assignment due for school today.
• I have a huge test on Saturday (the RICA, for those who care! :)
• Work has been difficult and my coworkers have been uncharacteristically difficult as well.
• Did I mention Greg is out of town. He is.
  
• Greg came home last night briefly and then flew out this morning.
• Ruth had been showing some weird eye problems and I asked for the nurse to screen her for vision -- she came up with blank spots in her vision when she uses both eyes -- alone, they are fine, together blank spots. Probably a binocular vision disorder. So, had to make an optometrist appointment.
• There is thing called Google where you can research all sorts of things that cause blank spots in vision. Some of them are very scary -- and very unlikely. Bottom line -- did NOT ease my stress level.
• Oh, Greg is out of town. Did I mention that?
• In the middle of the office, I completely melted down (hit the wall) and started crying just as I was walking into a difficult meeting with a groupof coworkers and my boss. The consummate professional at work. They were great but still dammit all I hate doing that at work (or anywhere but my own bedroom, thank you very much).
• Asthma means you can't breath well and at somepoints, your body starts limiting its activities and that's when I know that I need to get medical help. Which unfortunately means Prednisone which in my house we call Bitch Pills because while I feel better almost instantly, they utterly destroy my ability to cope with ANYTHING.
  
• I also have a sinus infection so I get to add antibiotics into the mix. (ooo, better go eat some yogurt!!!)
• Oh, Greg has been out of town since Tuesday -- he'll be back next Tuesday.
  

Okay, the good news is that things got better as soon as I called my doctor's office. I called at 11 told them my asthma was not responding to my emergency inhaler. They got me in at 12:35. Awesome. My doctor is wonderful and affirming. I got the scrips I needed. The visit only cost $73. I took the kids with me to get the meds. It always takes awhile so we walked down to the pet store. They are a great pet store (not that I'm a big fan of pet stores). We got to see amazing birds, bunnies, guinea pigs, chinchillas, lizards (baby bearded dragons that were like 3 inches long and a full-grown beauty who was like a foot-and-a-half), baby pink corn snakes (ahhhhh!), and tons of beautiful fish. We bought Flufsy a new bed and some chinchilla dusting powder which I understand they love for dry baths. We'll see. Gage got a cute stuffed lizard with magnets and is having a blast finding places for him to climb. We came home and Ruth did her homework and Gage and I cleaned up the house. Not perfect but nice. Coming home briefly to a disaster area wouldn't have been good for Greg and I figured it would be a good thing to help reduce my stress. It did. Then we had got ready for bed and curled up on the couch reading The Voyage of the Dawn Treader to wait for Daddy to come home. It was after bedtime but they needed to stay up and see him. Greg and I stayed up until almost 2 getting him packed and ready for his next trip. Still, being with him and seeing him, and talking to him helped a LOT.

So, I'm feeling better -- health and emotion-wise. Thank goodness. I'm knocking things off the stress list and feeling more supported. And, I got to bounce the workstuff of Greg and I felt better, way better, afterwards.

So, life goes on. Wheeeeeeee, what a ride. And you were warned, after all!

Sparrows

Sparrows
Originally uploaded by egret's nest.

Took a few minutes at the end of a day long seminar on reading instruction to relax out at Elkhorn Slough yesterday afternoon. It was so beautiful out there. Peaceful and quiet. These little sparrows were feeding in the old barnyard. So sweet. I might take the kids out there again today . . . or go buy a hamster instead. Hard to decide!

Ahhhh! Now it makes sense!

Well, I felt tired, lost, and non-productive all day yesterday despite getting lots of work done on my schoolwork and for my job at BCE. I subbed in the afternoon and then came home and slept for more than an hour. Got up and made lasagna and then collapsed in an exhausted heap and realized that I was running a fever! Suddenly it all clicks into place. I'm sick -- no wonder I feel awful!

So, I'm taking the day off and going to get as much rest as I can today. Hopefully I'll shake this thing off and be back to normal!

Life . . . it sure does get in the way!

So, our changed routine is hard to get used to. Our summer was simpler, somehow and we're all having adjustment issues.

My day yesterday . . .

Starting at 6am, I got up, made my two mochas, and did my early morning computer thing (reading blogs, etc.). At 7, I woke the kids up and got dressed myself. Then breakfast and finding lunch money. We rolled out of here at 8am on the dot which was great except that halfway to school, I realized I'd forgotten my 2nd mocha on the counter. Sigh. We parked in a decent spot (hurrah!) and started our day. Kiss the kids and go to the office. I started as the Math Coordinator yesterday and didn't really have a clear idea of what that would entail from day one. Hmmmm. Ups and downs with that but I did spend some time observing in Math classes for the 4th-5th graders. Had a lunchtime meeting with the staff about Math support but nothing was really resolved. Had a just past lunchtime meeting with my principal about Math support and left feeling more confused than ever. We were not on the same page. Came home and thought about the page she was on and made up a spreadsheet showing what I think she's talking about there -- not sure how it will work but at least I'm trying to figure it out. Went back to school at 2:30 and picked up kids. Came home and got some more work done. Made the kids dinner at 5:30 and went to the Parent Club meeting at school (trip number 3 to the school that day!). Managed to NOT volunteer for anything, thank goodness! Dealt appropriately with a couple who decided to complain publically that they couldn't get something off the school's website (that I do as a volunteer effort). I told them that if they'd let me know I would have fixed it but I hadn't had any complaints about it. Came home and checked with both of my old, tired computers -- no problems. Made a zip file of the file in question and emailed it to them, cc'ing the principal. (CYA is important!) Watched TV with Greg instead of doing the dishes, laying out clothes, etc. Read in bed from 10:30 to 11. Wheeeee!

Today, I get to go to the DMV and renew my license which was due in March but I didn't get a notice and didn't realize it had expired until a month ago when I wrote a check for the first time in about a bazillion years! Oh joy. Don't you wish you had my life?

First Day of School

First Day of School
Originally uploaded by egret's nest.

Aren't they wonderful? Ruthie is now 8 and started third grade. Gage is 6-1/2 and started first grade.

They are loving their teachers and reconnecting with good friends.

I have been spending my days in kindergarten this week. I'm helping the wonderful Mrs. Bruce this first week. It's fun and wonderful but a huge amount of work -- little ones have so much work to do in getting used to kindergarten.

Yesterday

was the first day of school. Ruthie went to Mr Whiteman in 3rd grade. Gage went to Mr. Rus in 1st grade. I spent the morning in Kindergarten helping the best kindergarten teacher ever! She is the teacher both of my children had and I'm in awe of her and so thrilled that I get to learn from her. She is, of course, most grateful. The first few days of kindergarten are really, really hard work. I left with a migraine that lasted all night. It isn't that the children are terrible or anything like that. They are very, very sweet for the most part. However, there is nothing like spending the first morning of kindergarten watching all the different kids to give you a clear idea of why kids do better in school if they go to preschool.

One little boy had never been to preschool. He found everything about kindergarten frustrating and annoying. He was unhappy at the rules, didn't see any reason to listen to the teacher, got angry and whiney about everything, and required three times the intervention of any other child. Most of the kids went home very happy (but tired) at the end of kindergarten. This little boy went home puzzled, frustrated, and tired. Which isn't to say that every moment was negative. As I said, this teacher is awesome! I watched in amazement as she took a negative (his complete disregard of the bell she rang to get the kids' attention) into a positive by having him be the bell ringer. The look of joy and wonder on his face. Wow!

But, it was an exhausting day. Kindergarten is one of my favorite places to be and I love it there but never think that it doesn't require an amazing amount of energy to be there. My temple is throbbing just a little bit in writing about it. With any luck, today will go more smoothly. Fingers crossed!

Good news!

I had my meeting today and I'll be the Math Coordinator at my school next year. Yay! I'm happy about it. I'm also going to do student teaching in several different classrooms. So, I'm really happy about all that. Now I can relax and enjoy my summer.

Although, right now, I have a houseful of little girls which isn't particularly relaxing, I must say! :) We finally got Ruth's birthday part going on. She's having a slumber party and then a Build-A-Bear Workship visit with her friends. Yoicks! It's kind of crazy but they were all asleep finally by 10:30 or so. Man!

Slogging

I'm working through my coursework. Everything is due by tomorrow night at midnight. I will have it done but at this point its a race to the finish and I'm not sweating the details too much. I'd sell my soul for someone to take my kids away for the next two days but that isn't going to happen. Sigh.

Hope for the best. I'm still in my jammies and didn't even manage coffee this morning. Not a good sign. I just turned in one of the units so I took a break. I'm going to get dressed, do the dishes, make my coffee, and get back to work. Wheeeeeeeee!

Tomorrow, I have 8am dentist appts for the kids and then a meeting at 1pm with my principal to discuss what I can do at the school this coming year. Hopefully that all goes well. The rest of the time, I'm working on the chain gang.

Tote that barge. Lift that bail.

PS. Ruthie lost another tooth yesteday. She left the sweetest note for the ToothFairy. What a doll. Gage will be losing two teeth tomorrow (forcibly). The ToothFairy thing ALMOST makes up for the teeth-coming-out thing.

A fun, rowdy night at my house

We had our BBQ tonight. Really a fun evening. Too much food. Too much wine. Games and silliness. Kids from first grade to 6th grade running rampant throughout the house. Wild.

We spent all day cleaning house -- we need to entertain more often! We actually were done about an hour early and had time to do some fiddly things which was nice. The kids worked hard with me which was nice. Greg got a ton done as well even though he had to do some work and go to a meeting with an architectural client. Wheeee!

This morning I woke up to that odd combination of a huge mess and yet a clean house. The kitchen was full of dishes needing to be done but the rest of the house needed only a quick tidy up. Very cool.

Now our focus as a family shifts to getting ready for our camping trip -- we're going with the same gang of people that were at the BBQ so it's extra good for the kids and everyone to get together.

I talked to my advisor and got good news -- I am able to do the Math Coordinator position as and classroom observations, lessons as needed, etc. So, that was great news! I am so happy. If the Math job doesn't work out, I can sub instead which is just fine. Yay!

So, moving forward one step at a time!

While I was studying . . .

steller's jay
Originally uploaded by egret's nest.

I also kept my camera with it's telephoto lens in my lap. I'm not a good photographer but I still had fun playing with it. This gorgeous and sassy Steller's Jay came to visit.

While Greg was chatting with me, a group of chickadees flew into the feeders and started squabling over position. One was so flustered that it flew over and landed on Greg. I don't know which of them was more surprised. Brazen things!

It is lovely to do my schoolwork out on my deck in the dappled sunlight with birds lighting around me for company.

There are more pictures up at Flickr -- they aren't great but still they are there!

Career Status

Okay, so after a day of being super sad, I'm feeling better now. Still don't want to talk about it much but there you go.

Here's the deal . . .

-I don't have my full credential yet -- just my Intern Credential
-I have minimal experience.
-The principal's job is to do the best she can for the school.
-She never promised me a job -- in fact, she has said several times to me in a pointed manner to finish my credential.
-Yes, I wanted this job but . . . I've said all along that it wasn't guaranteed and if someone more qualified applied I probably wouldn't get it.

So, someone more qualified applied and I didn't get it. It sucks but I'm not angry or bitter about it. Disappointed and sad but that's it. Really.

So, next steps.

I'm still checking job listings but there are not really any teaching jobs in the country right now and I can only look in this county because of my credential program. And, I don't really want to commute anyway . . . :)

My advisor is out of town until Saturday. I will find out from her what my student teaching options are and then I'll look at my other options. I could do substitute teaching and may well choose to do that in addition to my student teaching. We'll see.

Greg -- no surprise here -- has been AWESOME. He told me before the interview that it just didn't matter because regardless we'd make it work. Yesterday, he told me that he honestly hoped that I didn't get a full-time job at a different school because it would be way better for our family if I were home more and working part-time. I feel the same way but felt guilty about possibly not bringing in as much money and not having benefits. He's a great husband!!!

Thanks for the love and support!

No job.

I didn't get the job at BCE. I'm very disappointed and sad but I did expect this -- I knew when I didn't hear anything by Friday that I hadn't gotten it. I am sure they hired a better teacher and the school will benefit from this but still . . . I'm very disappointed.

And, now I have so much work to do. I have to find someone to student teach with for the Fall and see if I can get the Math Coordinaton/Homework Club Coordinator position at BCE.

I just really hoped that I would get it -- that my hard work and dedication would count for more than they evidently did.